onday, April 03, 2006
This one's all mine

I have a blog but it's a politically correct blog mostly used to keep far off family apprised of my children's development. I always feel like I am holding back out of fear that the family who don't really know me that well will think that I am a horrible person. Now with the introduction out of the way what to write about?
I suppose with anonymity and a clean slate I will have the opposite problem. That won't last long though every day I have about a million thoughts running through my head and an audience of two toddlers. So I am a work at home mom who runs a very small home daycare. I want to keep my daycare small but I am also faced with the desire to make more money. Daycare is not a great paying industry and I love to spend money so that is a problem. I feel like one of those goofy inventors who is always trying to create the next big thing, only to fail again. I have tried selling on Ebay and I have made a little bit of money but I can't grasp how people can sell some of the things they do at the price they do and make a profit. Or why some things sell and others just sit there, and then you can only relist them so many times before there is no way you can make a profit. I have signed up for all those on line survey companies and now I have a email box full of junk mail. Then I started entering every contest I could find, I had to win eventually right? Well I gave up before eventually came around.
I feel like my life is on a loop, I do the same thing every day, Get up clean up the mess my husband left for me, get the kids breakfast and argue with them over what they will wear. Greet the day care children, race through another day of endless cleaning and referee duties. Make it through day care kids pick up the e face the chore of dinner, clean up, tub for the kids, the bedtime battle. Then it's time for an "grown up show" and some exciting laundry folding. Then it's off to bed barely able to fall asleep not because of my excitement for the replay next day, but the barrage of worries and what if's that fill my head. The promises of weight I will lose tomorrow, credit card bills I vow to pay off before buying something else we don't really need, how I will keep my temper better under control for the kids sake. That I will be a fun mom tomorrow I will throw caution to the wind and let the house get messy and just keep playing. I will definitely not yell tomorrow no matter what. That I will fold the laundry rather than just leaving it in the baskets and making the kids and husband dig through it yet another day. Please tell me I am not alone in thinking that tomorrow is the day I will start living my life the way I think I should be?
posted by heather @ 11:07 AM 0 comments